I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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