Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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