I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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