just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
