sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can you bring me the toilet please
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize