how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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