Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
