who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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