walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
