the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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