Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
