I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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