and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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