The maid of honor just puked.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
