all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize