I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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