did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
