i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
