Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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