the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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