people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize