Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
