I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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