we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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