Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
