I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
