His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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