Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize