Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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