Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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