I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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