Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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