He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
