she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
God I need to hump something, right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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