I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
