So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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