Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
