i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
