Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
