dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
