but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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