I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
high people should be assigned attendants
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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