My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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