He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
