so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
