Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
