I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
