dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
