don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize