So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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