Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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