I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize