I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
