you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
