flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
