You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let's paint friendship bongs
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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