8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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