If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
