My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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