How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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