I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
