guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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