Its about making memories worth repressing
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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