wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize