I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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