Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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