I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cannot find my penis.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize