i just had sex bonerless
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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