yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
