quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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