i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
