How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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