I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
