my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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