Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize